how to accept giving up when you've been training your hardest

sometimes surprises get the best of you, and sometimes they're awesome.

in this case, a little bit of both.

in my last post, I was basically LOL-ing at my ability to run. sure, I ran 5 miles. and then 6. and hey, that's all good and well, but it was slow AF and I was left wondering how the heck I was going to run 13.1 miles in may.

somehow, after 7 miles, I was on fire. I found that my 3 hours block between classes on Wednesdays was perfect for long runs, and I began to look forward to that every week (weird, I know).

and somehow I accidentally skipped from 7 to 9 miles and it felt great. and before I knew it, I had run 10 miles on a gorgeous Boston morning at a pace of 8:22 per mile.

mapmyrun 10 mile run

what???

yeah, my thoughts exactly. it was the first time I had run double digits, and I was so happily surprised. suddenly, my goal went from finishing the half to actually getting under 2 hours. it seemed feasible.

and then another surprise came my way. while visiting one of my best friends in SF, she asked me if I wanted to come to SE Asia with her this summer. which meant... missing my half.

I struggled a lot with this. I had trained for it. I had been looking forward to it. but, like some very wise people pointed out, I'd have so many more chances to do a half marathon. how many more chances to go to SE Asia was I going to get?

I love traveling and I love being pushed out of my comfort zone into the unknown, but the other thing I struggled with was the idea of being out of shape. I'm at the point where I can successfully hold a plank for 13 minutes, a squat for 8, I can do pushups without being on my knees and I can do pull ups... with some help. going away for a month scared me (still scares me) because I'm afraid that it'll just wipe away all that I've worked so hard for.

but I've really tried to put things into perspective. I can always get back in shape, and besides — I plan on doing a good amount of walking at the very least while in Asia.

running-wise? I think a little bit of pressure was taken off anyway by not having to do the half so soon. I've gone on 7 mile runs and though it was pretty slow, it reminded me why I love running.

so I took the plunge, entered the B.A.A half marathon, and was selected.

I'll worry about how the heck I'm going to manage running in the Boston summers while on co-op and dealing with the crazy heat and humidity after I get back from Asia.

here's to spontaneity, to happy surprises, to understanding my worries and addressing them myself.